I’ve posted a couple write-ups this week about my accomplishments this year without really taking stock of what I’ve done. Despite my big personality, I’m modest.
I’ll allow the following: I’ve written a lot. I’ve seen my kids successfully to another year, I’ve invested time in myself and my marriage. I’ve helped friends and I’ve always been candid. Oh! And I helped get that Wink-O-Matic installed near the school.
I didn’t plan to write all week, but it’s hard to still the hands when they’ve apparently got something to say.
Here’s the dealio, I have learned a lot this year:
I catch more butterflies with nectar than I do with vinegar.
Counting to 10 before I speak helps.
Not having all the answers is a gift.
Checking my place: where am I in this discussion?, What is my gain?, What is my loss? is essential to my sanity.
Too much coffee gives me the shakes.
Taking a risk, replying to a tweet and joining a writer’s blog is a great idea.
I parted ways with people this year. It was time and I no longer harbor enmity toward them. It took a while though. The feelings of wrenching regret from supposedly “wasted time” – when things like that go up in flames – can be overwhelming. It wasn’t wasted time.
I learned I have the tenacity and energy and creativity and the chops to really take a go at this writing-a-book thing. (I just don’t have the ego or the business savvy.)
I learned that cyclical, intense and familiar energy, whether good or bad, is usually unhealthy.
I also made a few new friends as well, and they’re terrific people. Some of the nicest people I’ve never met.
For someone who spent a good 30+ years time shushing her intuition, 2012 has been a year of seeking it, finding it and trusting it.
The suggestions and nudges our intuitions make will always be right, but seldom easy: they might lead us down a challenging path; or make us confront what we avoid; and work harder than we thought we could. I’ve written so much about personal growth, self-improvement, mindfulness, grace, authenticity, dysfunction… every day offers a lesson.
These lessons will continue because I will continue to put myself out there.
2013 is going to be more of the same for me in that regard: bigger steps, bolder visions and higher hopes. What do we have to lose?
Enjoy the sublime version of Auld Lange Syne below, as the Scots intended it…
Thank you. Be safe tonight.