Daily Archives: December 17, 2013

30 Days of Brené Brown — Day 16: #truth, #authenticity #community #belonging #gifts

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Welcome to Day 16! I am over the crest! We are on our way down now.

Day 16 of what?! of “30 Days of Brené Brown” — worldwide phenom blog series hosted and written by yours truly to a staggering audience!

Oprah calls it, “Where have I been?! This audience is staggering!”

Deepak hails it, “A worldwide phenom hosted and written by Molly Field!”

Murphy my dog calls it, “Waooh-wooof! Blog series! Rawr waaaoh rruuuf!”

Brené Brown says nothing of it. She’s bitter about my critique of her writing style. It’s ok.

Let’s move on, shall we?

Today’s quote:

Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.
― Brené BrownDaring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

And once again, I am amazed by the dovetailing of the events that happen in my life and then the quote I get to discuss the next day.

I’m writing this Monday, the 16th. Sunday afternoon I gave a private yoga lesson to my friends. I can see changes in their postures and their abilities to reach certain parts or twist beyond certain ranges where they were previously stuck.

It’s gratifying. In a public class, which is great don’t get me wrong, you definitely don’t get the 1:1 attention you need, nor do you get to concentrate on a certain pose should you need to slow things down and take the work step by step. I am happy to answer their questions and take things in a different direction if that’s what they need. And we do that — sometimes we completely reverse course.

(get to the point… get to the point…)

Here’s the point, in a roundabout way (hey, my blog, my trail of logic): they are paying me to do this work with them. I’m on the bus now, I see the value in what I’m doing.

I’ve told this story a few times here, but every day I’m picking up a new reader (AND I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE! even though some of you are bots!) and so this story for me never gets old because it’s something we need to do for ourselves every day.

I’ll sum it up in a private message I wrote to the perfect-stranger gal who knit the cowl I just bought with the money I earned giving yoga to these amazing people I met through my cousin. I also wouldn’t have been online to see it last night if I weren’t writing my memoir. So, yeah.  It’s like “The house that Jacqueline renovated.”

i just wanna explain something…. for a long time, despite my sense of humor and generally optimistic attitude and sunny outer disposition, i didn’t think i was very worthy of much. i saw myself as ‘different’ and ‘disconnected’ because of deep, implicit wounds from my childhood. it’s hard for people who didn’t come from that type of background to appreciate it [it’s even hard for people who do come from it because we all experience and process these things differently per our own coping and DNA coding], so if it’s a leap for you, i totally understand.

i was a big defensive knot. not mean, but angry. my tongue was like a scythe.

the point i’m trying to make is this: when i finally started to be OK with who I AM regardless of the track record and the history / treatment i endured, i started to allow my flaws and my insecurities which then let me step into that wider circle we call humanity.

then i started to get more into yoga and then i gave the gift to others — but i had to step into my truth — the truth? that i suffered as a child even though i didn’t have the bruises and the scars one could see before i could share my love of yoga and the peace it gives me.

once i shared and i saw its my effect on people, i went for my certification. then after that, where i am now, in the midst of acquiring it, people started to take me seriously because i took myself and my journey seriously. i wasn’t just some big mouth who preached but did not practice.

then someone asked if i’d be willing to come to her home and teach her and her husband privately. they don’t like big classes, they prefer to stay nice and cozy; who can blame them? i would love to have what i’m doing with them be done for me.

they wanted to pay me. i said ok and proposed a small fee. they said you’re nuts. she stuffed a check for far more than i proposed in my bag! and insisted i cash it. i said ok. this has been going on for several weeks now. i’m blessed. we’re all blessed.

it wasn’t until i accepted my worth, dear knitter, that i began to see the value in my gifts. and so with that money, i wanted to buy myself something, in my favoritest colors of all –periwinkle and new green– and which was made with love, by hand, and imbued with peace — that cowl… it’s like a medal to me. it’s more than a cowl.

the best part of all, is that i’m helping the universal flow of abundance keep going. i am rewarding you for your hard work because i was rewarded for mine.

no “bad” experience in this lifetime is without merit. we can learn so much about ourselves and the world when we back up and get out of our own way.

thanks for knitting it, posting it and selling it. it’s more than a cowl for me. it’s a symbol of Truth.

xo

The knitter, Alma, is a blog follower and friend of another blogger. She friend-requested me on Facebook. I said OK and then she posted this… this is what happens when we open doors. This is what happens when we allow our vulnerability, and when we let ourselves identify with and join the human race.

Alma’s reply:

I’m tearing up here over my coffee. Thanks Molly. I was laid off from a job that had me working so long that I never saw my kids or valued my life. Knitting always centered me. Or just creating. After I was let go, my husband and I moved to Savannah, GA, from NY to start a new life without knowing anyone. It’s a much simpler life and I found what is important to me without all the noise. In NY, I was making more money than my husband, now I work from home and have people like you who truly make what I do worth it. Like everyone else I have periods of doubt. My trick is I don’t look to see what everyone else is making or trendy. What I do, I do because I love it in hopes to reach a kindred soul like yours. Thanks. This was a Christmas present to me. xo

Pretty nice gal, huh?

Here is a picture of the cowl. Get your own… 😉

That’s how we belong. When we accept ourselves and then share “us” with others. It’s also how we identify ourselves: we can belong as long as we are ourselves. Being someone else, or following a trend doesn’t quite work, does it?

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. –Oscar Wilde

Look, this “sharing” stuff is pretty new to me. I was FUN! and sincerely HELPFUL! but I was also pretty closed up. Despite the fact that I started this blog almost three years ago, it wasn’t until the last year that I’ve really opened the onion, so to speak. I’ve danced around stuff, and I’ve taken the gloves off every once in a while, but it was sporadic and usually marinated in fear. Now I don’t worry so much.

The knitter is a beautiful soul; she shared her story with me and it’s all about how she found peace in knitting and making art, something she’d done to relax her mind and enjoy her life outside the rat race. Now it’s become her main thing. She is happy, now she has peace.

Thank you.